Following My Heart
By Ashley Garcia
Image by Elle Klaus
This past fall, I tried something new in my college journey. I chose to follow my heart and applied to the Spanish Language and Literature program. It was quite a simple decision really. I had finished my minor requisites but stopping just didn’t feel quite right. I felt like I was just barely starting to scratch the surface.
Spanish was my first language, and until I went to preschool, it was the only language I spoke. However with age, English had quickly become my dominant language and as a result my Spanish started to dwindle. How could it not, when I made no effort to speak it outside of home, I was too embarrassed. Not because I was ashamed of speaking Spanish, on the contrary I was scared of how other native speakers would judge my pronunciation.
I was stuck in this treacherous cycle where my fluency was worsening because of my insecurities, and yet those same insecurities were inhibiting me from improving.
I had met all of my language requisites for my current major, there was no need to enroll in a college-level Spanish class, but I needed a free elective and figured it would be an easy A. Oh how I was proved wrong, it was one of my more difficult classes that semester. Still, I found myself enrolling in another Spanish class the following semester. I couldn’t stop, I knew it would be challenging but I wanted to test my limits. And while not my original intention, I had started pursuing a Spanish minor.
Despite the academic challenges that came with these classes, I was rejoicing in my improvements in the language. I learned how to write, a huge win for me, because just two years ago the thought of even writing more than two sentences in Spanish was anxiety-inducing.
I've also been enjoying how much easier it's become to speak to my parents in their mother tongue. I love telling them about what I'm learning in class without having to pull out the translator app.
But the biggest accomplishment so far is being less self-conscious about my fluency, because while it may not be perfect, I am actively making the effort to improve.
So naturally when I was looking over my pack planner and realized that this past semester would be my last semester of Spanish classes, I had to do something about it quickly. And so I did, even though adding another major on top of my current one would delay my graduating another semester. I didn’t care, because one semester is nothing when Spanish is what ties me closer to my family and culture.
