By Mariella Neri

Weddings can be deemed as the Super Bowl for most girls. They’re a whole realm of their own, something many of us dreamed about since we were little. You picture yourself walking down the aisle, all eyes focused on you. With the multiple aspects of planning from the dress to the venue to the overall theme, every detail centers around you and the person you love. It marks the next phase of life, the start of a new chapter. From the proposal, to bridal showers, bachelorette parties, the rehearsal dinner, and finally the big day. It makes me wonder if this tradition will last a lifetime or will it eventually become less of a big ordeal?

Does the fairytale still exist and is a big grand wedding still the ultimate goal? As society evolves, people's views and traditions about marriage have shifted. Women are more independent and the timeline for getting married or starting a family isn’t as rushed as it once was. Nowadays, people have the free will to choose to have no wedding, something intimate and low-key, or an extravagant event. It’s all based on personal preference, especially in this modern age.

After considering this I started to wonder if the tradition of taking your partner's last name is still common, or has this expectation also changed. Does changing your name truly symbolize unity as a couple or is it simply a decision based upon personal preference? This could be centered on the desire for women to keep their maiden names to maintain a sense of individuality, while others prefer to hyphenate or just like the original flow their name as is. I think this topic often seems deeper than it is in the grand scheme of things. And it can be difficult for older generations to grasp the concept of having grown up with more traditional values. Some may even view it as a threat to man's self-esteem, as though not taking the man's last name conveys that he is less dominant, however the bigger picture is being lost with this perspective. The purpose of marriage is to have a special moment to signify the love and unification between two individuals, not the declaration of a last name. So, is it really that big of a deal overall?

Concocting Pinterest boards full of dream dresses, rings, and venues is something I find myself guilty of when procrastinating or out of boredom. Browsing a variety of gown styles, different cuts of rings, and watching Say Yes to the Dress, or imagining future weddings while on walks with friends is an easy loop hole to fall into. Honestly, most of the time we don’t even consider “who” we might potentially marry, but just the wedding itself. Even though essentially the whole point to begin with is about this pivotal life moment between you and your partner. Is this to say we are too caught up in the chaos of planning a wedding that we lose focus of the real purpose?

Personally I think weddings are significant and I look forward to planning mine someday. To be completely honest I always imagined that I would take my husband's last name, but as I’ve grown, my perspective has changed. I think I would choose to hyphenate my last name because I want to maintain that aspect of my identity and that connection to my family while still sharing my husband’s name as a reflection of our unity. Also it allows me to have the ability to separate my professional and personal life through this standpoint. All in all, my final food for thought for my girls is this: if you had to dream up your wedding right now, without looking into the future, what would you envision? And when it comes to your last name, what would your stance be… whether you change, hyphenate, or keep it the same?

When You Say ‘I Do’

The Art of Pausing